


Taste of Freedom

by Diary



Category: Scandal (TV)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Bechdel Test Fail, Canon Gay Character, Canon Queer Character, Dark Character, Honesty, Late Night Conversations, M/M, POV Cyrus Beene, POV Male Character, POV Queer Character, Post-Season/Series 05 AU, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 16:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6862573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. "You go to work, you come home, and while you’re with me, you think of him." Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taste of Freedom

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Scandal.

Michael sighs.

Cyrus sets his book down. “What do you want, now?”

“Wow. I’ve become you, haven’t I?”

“What?”

“You’re thinking about Tom.”

“I haven’t seen him since-”

“Yeah, I know. You go to work, you come home, and while you’re with me, you think of him. Probably a good thing we’re not having sex, because that? That would really hurt.”

Shaking his head, Cyrus picks up his book. “Welcome to reality, Michael. I pointed out at the very beginning, you had other options. You decided living with Satan was preferable to any of them. Then, you became attached to Ella. You really have no idea how much I want the vice presidency, and maybe I’m not much of a father, but because of James, I will always love her. So, yes, you get to call the shots, now. Have fun. At most, you have eight years, by which time, Ella will be mostly grown, and- well, I’ll figure out the rest then.”

“Think he’ll wait that long?”

“I imagine he’s already moved on,” is Cyrus’s simple reply. “We all have to live with our choices, don’t we?”

Making a small noise, Michael quietly asks, “Could you just- without sarcasm, without cruelty, would you please just tell me honestly what makes him so special? After years of missing James, have you really fallen in love with someone else?”

“If not, then, please, Cyrus, tell me why you’d risk damage to your all-precious political career just to screw some guy when you could have had me? Because, maybe I didn’t give you sex every single time you wanted it, but I gave you plenty, and I always made it good. You think me talking to you like a normal person was me being needy? Believe me, I not only knew my role, I still do. Aside from playing the dutiful husband in public, I did everything from making you food and bringing it to you, to picking up your dry cleaning, to listening to you rant at the TV during the nightly news. All of that on top of taking care of Ella.”

Exhaling, Cyrus says, “I shouldn’t have said all those things. I was wrong. And as you noted, cruel.”

Setting the book aside, he turns slightly and shakes his head. “Alright. I’ll try not to be sarcastic. If you find something cruel, tell me, and I’ll retract it or try to reword it.”

Nodding, Michael turns, too.

“You have to realise by now that I am not a good person. In some ways, you got a better head start on that than James did. He loved me despite this. When he truly found out who I was, part of him hated me. He wanted to leave more than once, but in the end, I always got him to stay. If he could have had me with the good parts and not the truly bad- that’s what he wanted. That’s what I could never give him. Or maybe that’s just what I was never willing to even try to give him. I honestly don’t know.”

“Tom wanted me because of all the bad I am. Before you say anything, I’m aware that’s not healthy. It’s not right. But it is the truth. He saw the complete picture of me, and he wasn’t hurt by it, he wasn’t afraid of it, and he wasn’t disgusted. I never had to hide anything from him. I never had to be anything but me. No, I’m not in love with him. I don’t really think he’s even capable of being in love with another person. Being with him was freeing in a way that I had never experienced before. Even when I was paying you for sex and semi-deluding myself, I was never that free.”

“But,” he says with a small laugh, “I’ve wanted the Oval since I was a kid, and I can’t lose the last real part of James there is. Freedom is- good people deserve it. People like me, we’re lucky if we get a small taste. Eventually, our own natures will cause us to forfeit it.”

Swallowing, Michael nods. “If he ever comes near Ella, you won’t be able to stop me from taking her and leaving for good. If you get caught, I’m not covering for you again, and I wouldn’t hold your breath on me playing the forgiving, stand by your man husband. Otherwise, go be free, Cy.”

Cyrus picks up the book. “I wasn’t being sarcastic when I said he’s probably already moved on. That’s what Tom does. He transfers his adoration and loyalty to whoever’s willing to pay him attention when the last person he was following around stops.”

Reaching over, Michael splays his palm over the book until Cyrus looks back at him.

“If it weren’t for the fact you’ve pretty much confirmed he’s just as bad as you are, I’d feel sorry for him. I do actually question if you know him as well as you think you do. I’ve seen enough of him to know that that loyalty and adoration isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Random question: That old Harvard sweater of yours, where is it?”

Giving a puzzled look, Cyrus answers, “I don’t know. I haven’t worn it in years. Maybe the storage closet?”

Rolling his eyes, Michael says, “I honestly thought you’d given it to him. Do you remember him ever sleeping in it?”

“Oh,” Cyrus quietly says. “The first night- I’d forgotten about that. Well, you can’t be unreasonable enough to expect me to try to get it back if he does have it.”

“With no disrespect to James, you really don’t have much of an idea of how boyfriends work, do you? When people are in relationships, if one of them can wear the other’s clothes, they usually do. After you broke his heart, admittedly because of me, he kept it. Trust me, you couldn’t get it back if you tried. He’d sooner destroy it than let you take the very last piece of you away from him.”

Reaching over, he puts his hand on Cyrus’s arm. “I never want to be you, Cyrus. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but I’ve never come anywhere close to your level. So, I’m not going to be like you. That ends right now. If you’re honest with me, I’ll be honest with you. And tonight, you were. Go find him. I promise Ella and I will still be here in the morning. Just remember what I said about you getting caught. Giving that flashdrive to Alex was the last bad thing I’ll ever do to protect you.”

Cyrus studies him for a long moment.

“It’s okay,” Michael assures him.

Taking a shaky breath, Cyrus says, “Thank you.” Leaning over, he puts a hand behind Michael’s neck and kisses his cheek.

Nodding, Michael says, “Go. Be safe.”

…

Tom opens the motel door.

“Can I come in?”

Tom moves aside and closes the door behind them. “Do you need something?”

Laughing slightly, Cyrus shakes his head. “No. I’m here because- I’m not exactly sure.”

“What about Michael?”

“He got fed up with me thinking about you all the time.”

“I can still kill-”

“Tom,” he interrupts, “you’re not killing Michael. I don’t love him, and sometimes, I strongly dislike him, but he is a good person. Moreover, he’s someone- Ella deserves a good parent, and James deserves a good person watching over his daughter. That’s him.”

“Is that why you choose him? Because he’s a good person?”

Taking a careful step towards Tom, Cyrus says, “I’m sorry about that. I can’t blame you if you say no, but if you’d be willing to take me back-”

Tom kisses him.

He responds before breaking away. “We need to get the rest out, first.”

Giving a frustrated nod, Tom sits down.

Following suit, Cyrus says, “Aware of how this might sound, I don’t want a good person. And what you said before- you didn’t do anything wrong. There’s nothing to make up for. I want to be Vice President, and even though we’ll probably never be very close, I want my daughter to love me and recognise me as part of who she is. I was willing to give you up for that.”

“But you didn’t,” Tom says. “And I know you don’t really understand how I can be like this.”

“Rowan was like a father to me. Jake Ballard, I know how badly he hurt you by killing James, but at the time, I believed he was- the republic needed Command was what I believed, and that’s who he was. What you and I have is different. I would have given them whatever they wanted from me, but that’s not the point. I never wanted the things from them that I want from you. Being able to touch you. Having you touch me. When we just sleep in the same bed. You hurt me, but if I can have those things again, I’ll forgive you.”

“I’ve missed you,” Cyrus tells him. “I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“Make me forget being hurt, then,” Tom says.

Nodding, Cyrus leans over and kisses him.

Making a noise of pleasure, Tom moves, lies back on the bed, and pulls Cyrus along with him.

…

While Tom is in the shower, Cyrus turns on the TV, accidentally drops the remote, and when he picks it up, he sees something under the bed.

Pulling it out, he sees his old Harvard sweatshirt has been carefully sealed in a plastic bag.

Laughing softly, he pushes the bag back under the bed.


End file.
